someone get that fucking seahorse.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
