from now on my penis is your penis
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it hurts more in the daytime
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am one with the molecules
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
