Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
