Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
