can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
