Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
