The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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