just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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