Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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