On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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