i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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