last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
