whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize