I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
