pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
