Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
