I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
