Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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