what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
