maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
