when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
