goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.