Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha