guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize