This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.