Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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