I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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