Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
