Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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