my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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