i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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