I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
