Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
