my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
