I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize