in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
