Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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