I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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