She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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