Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
