I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
