Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
