I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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