guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
