I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
