i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
