Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
