So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
