Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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