We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
