It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
