somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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