allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
