You just made me feel so damn special
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
