So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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