Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
