these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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