then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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