thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
