I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
