I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
