Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
