Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
