Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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