end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
